what happens when you wake up inception

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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Women.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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hello

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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HAPPY NOVEMBER 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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