What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down

two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Some people like melon and others like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

thumb_up thumb_down +42

do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops