A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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