knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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did you stub your toe?

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Unnnnnnnn

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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