You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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What's dead? Your mum.

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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What's wrong with the beetles? They suck dick

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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Santa isn't real

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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The cream, it is coming

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roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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