What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a Jew A Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guess what? The Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops