How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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save water shower with friends

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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