Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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