What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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69

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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Arrow to the Knee

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Knock knock, Whos there? Your adopted.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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I just drank a cola.

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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