what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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School

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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ure mama's so fat

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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