Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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A disabled man walks into a bar.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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Albert your flies undone.

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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