A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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