What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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