- Anti Joke

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Women's rights.

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

your mom

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

Youve got to spell the name right you dead dylan fuck

obama leadership

What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

Lars Arne Eriksen (Yes his real name) is filing a case against me (because he believes that my actions (from my private estate-ish bigger) are shaming the firm.... Now, can anyone of you randomeers, tell me what firm I represent? Which firm I am not employed at but OWN, meaning that I am the one that will be evaluating if his case is valid? ERIKSEN YOU FUCKING DUMBASS YOU CAN LEAVE NOW YOU ARE NOT GETTING PAID FOR READING THESE COMMENTS AND SENDING THEM TO YOUR BOSS... ...BECAUSE I AM YOUR BOSS YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! NOW TYPE THIS DOWN, TAKE YOUR LITTLE PICTURES AND SEND THEM TO ME, SO I CAN SAY OFFICIALLY THEM "YOU SUCK YOU ARE FIRED" Now, feel free to post what Lawfirm I not only represent but own 99.9 of, if anyone guesses right, I will send you ten fucking million USD, and quit my position, if not I fire Eriksen and... (ill do that anyways Eriksen, you are not getting paid today, go home, we shall speak of this later, consider yourself on the way of getting officially fired. Not for having fun like we are here (you know at my tiny house here) THE HUGE ONE, but for embarrasing yourself and attempting to... Sigh, shame your boss by reporting him not to your boss, but to your the lead attorney... FUCKING DUMBASS I AM THE LEAD ATTORNEY WHICH MEANS THAT THIS IS WHY YOU CALL ME BOSS! According to this little dialer, twelve people from our firm are watching this site because we are having fun, and you just ridiculed yourself all in front of them. Dont show your face at my firm again dumbass, you can keep working until I officially let you go, but you wont get any pay from the official work. Guys at work, explain him how he cannot file a complaint about me, to myself for shaming a law firm whose nobody knows I AND ONLY I PROPERLY REPRESENT! Go home Eric crapton, make sure he leaves guys, thank you very much.

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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