Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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I've got a dig bick

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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What is green and slow Grass.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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