A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

How did the priest die? Masterbation

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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