Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

sorry son your nanas been put down

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

poop.

A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

Jesus was a good guy

What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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