What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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monkey sponge

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Wait! hundred billions!

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Friends are a lot like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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What should I name my dog?

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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What is more funny than 8 babies in 1 bin? 1 baby in 8 bins.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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What do u call a muslim A infection to America

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops