How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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Which one is hardest?

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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404 Error: Joke not found

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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