Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangeroo??? ... A sheep cannot be crossed with a kangaroo because the genes from sheep cannot work with genes from a kangaroo to produce hybrid sheegaroos or kangareeps.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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The Christian Bible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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