Popsicles

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

A black man is in line for a club. The bouncer says: This is a white party only. The black man says: Damn, I wasnt aware I had to wear white clothing. He then left the line and told himself to check the promotional page on facebook more often.

The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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