Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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