An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Bob dole

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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