How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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