Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

What's the square root of four? Two.

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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