There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Muslim walked into a bomb shop. Turns out he was in the wrong store so he left and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,789

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make the general public confused? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

thumb_up thumb_down

you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down

A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was watching this movie..... its over now.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops