If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If olive oil is made from olives and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made of? Mineral Oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Acetate, Fragrance.

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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