Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If olive oil is made from olives and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made of? Mineral Oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Acetate, Fragrance.

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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