What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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what goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? baby twins in an acid bath.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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Hello, I want likes. Press the up arrow.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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I hate you.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops