They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What do you call a white guy in a joke? The first joke to specify one of the people in the joke as one with Caucasian origin.

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Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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