what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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