- Anti Joke

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

John Rustenburg at the dinner table

What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

A drunk guy walks into a car

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

whats black white and red all over an abused child

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

Lebron James vs. Kobe Bryant

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops