- Anti Joke

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

Ted Haggard.

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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