Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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fack me!

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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