How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

Who kille the Mockingbird? George Bush: i wish i could know the answer for this question, but belive me i am thinking.

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

Nobody cares maddie!

A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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