Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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Fat people.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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