Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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I read the terms of service.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Women.

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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