emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Women.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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asdasdasdasd

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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Click here to end the world.

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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what goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? baby twins in an acid bath.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops