your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you know what's not right? Left.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops