:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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are you gay does your mom know

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? The Holocaust

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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