What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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justin littleton. nuff said

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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