If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? My illness prevents me from achieving erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -526

life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

thumb_up thumb_down +34

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops