Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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how did the man die he didnt

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Why do men find it difficult to look each other in the eyes? The answer actually has deep routes in their psyche, subconsious, and psychological development as children.

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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