Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops