Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chrissy is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops