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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question: feminists can't change anything.

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

Q: What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge? A: A lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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