Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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ginger

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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