What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

Hey how is your wife and my kids

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

Justin Bieber

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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