roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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