How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll ya have, Pope?" But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

What's brown and sticky A stick

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

whos the bitch now!?! you are.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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