Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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Your gay

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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It's all Taggart

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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