Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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3 like an eel

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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balls

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24

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Major League Soccer

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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porn-hub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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