What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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kk

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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joke

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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