what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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