What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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whats 2+2? 1

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Hi my name is Bob

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Nah

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Why did the

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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