I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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