Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

420

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

a retard lost...

Adam Thomas is homosexual

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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