Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Strawberry, to be specific.

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Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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a black father

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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